Indelicate Information

Something has come to my attention about exercise and it is indelicate but I believe I should talk about it, if only because I have never read anyone else talking about it. There is something they leave out of all the exercise pr…the poops…literally.  No one says that when they try to get you into exercising. I read Self, Shape, Health and Women’s Health. I don’t recall ever reading in any of those magazines how to deal with getting the shits on the track, or almost pooping your pants while jumping in aerobics class.

The other day I had an appointment with my Edward Jones representative. To get to the appointment, I took the wrong bus, and ended up five or so blocks out of the way. I had to run to the appointment and showed up to the fancy Pyramid Club my hair flat and listless. After my appointment, it started raining. I was walking home and had to immediately duck into Starbucks because nature wasn’t just calling; it was screaming. Then I had to buy something. I couldn’t just leave after bombing their bathroom.

After that I went to the Reading Terminal Market, it was brimming with people, the different stores are amazing and they even had a singer that day. I decided to get lunch. It was super busy but I finally got a table across from some really nice ladies: Chris and Kate. They were lovely and told me all the great stores in the market and sent me to the best bakery. Kate was interested in creative writing and I have my Bachelor’s degree in that. I had the greatest time talking about stuff with her. Then I started to sweat again. I almost asked her for her phone number to be friends but had to cut it short…again I had to go to the bathroom. I was worried I wouldn’t find one but luckily the Market has a great bathroom, which is good because I spent about a half hour in there. As soon as I was done, I went to the butcher and the baker and then I had to run home for another round.

When I got home my door woman, Eula, asked me if it was still raining. Frustrated, I pointed at my hair and said, “No, that’s sweat.”

About this time, I had walked over eight thousand steps, and I had carried my luggage with the groceries home. When I got into the apartment I threw everything down on the floor, including my coat. I was so exhausted after that, I put my groceries away but left everything else and took a bath. When my husband got home he thought I had evaporated in thin air. He finally found me in the bathtub.

This day is an example of what happens whenever I walk long distances. I am told that my bowels will get used to the exercise. I really can’t wait. I hope it happens soon.

I like some of the good aspects of walking so much. My feet actually feel better at night because the nerve pain is decidedly less. That fact alone is amazing. I also have been having less fibromyalgia pain. These things are blessings and I guess that outweighs the fact that most of the time when I am out walking, I desperately search for a bathroom.

 

Everything is Beautiful, in it’s own way

At home with friends, where I feel the most confident.

This weekend I was complimented on my confidence. I have told you before I was sort of born with it. My mom jokes I came out and said, “TADA!” In other words, I have been blissfully unaware of my place in the social order. I just assumed my place was high and went with that. I get that from my father. He was a free spirit, bless his soul, and never met a person that didn’t bend to his will or laugh at his jokes. It is sort of in my blood to relish spot lights; to sweep into a room and strategically take it over. Overbearing sometimes, I have to turn off my power (obnoxiousness) so that people get a word in edgewise. I am the proverbial puppy. I saddle up to you, jump on your lap and start licking your face from minute one. Not only that, but I have the audacity to dance like no one’s watching because most of the time I assume they aren’t. At this wedding, they apparently were, hence the compliment.

This is again just to remind you that I am sort of a confidence expert. There are two tips I would like to give anyone who wants to have more confidence in life. One, be oblivious and two, have more joy in life.  By be oblivious, I mean forget all the stuff that people think about social structure and how you should behave.  Do things that give you joy without any thought to the way people will think about you. Raise the roof in a mosh pit. Wear shorts to a formal party. Give a ridiculous speech at a function. Do what gives you joy.

If you have any doubt that this will give you confidence, think about how sexy joy is. Have you ever been to the park and seen a man in his forties who is not your type at all, but you see him playing with his child. He is making silly faces and dancing goofily and you think Wow, that is so sexy. The joy and unabashed love he has for his child is so attractive.

Here is another example: you’re at work looking at pictures from a coworker’s vacation. The normally buttoned up, starched person is wearing a swim suit, hair is wet and messy, fresh faced and slightly burnt but with the biggest most remarkable grin on their face, and for the first time you think Wow, he/she is beautiful.

Joy makes you beautiful, especially when it is unabashed and full. Shameless joy can wash away any flaws. Still not buying it? Go out onto the dance floor of any club and watch the dancers. Just watch. The people who are having the most fun- they are the ones you’ll be attracted to. The reserved person in the corner, the one who is worried about how they will look to others, or the one in the middle of the dance floor making very specific moves in order to impress- they aren’t the really sexy ones. It is the one who is dancing with abandon, arms and legs flailing, grinning to the sky, that is the one you want to hang with. That is the person who has it figured out! If you remember joy is sexy, then you can have confidence. Just concentrate on your joy.